Let us be clear from the start: inclusion on this list is in no way indicative of performance, specs and capability. But if you’ve been around the block a while and used a range of photo management and photo-editing software since the dawn of the digital age you’ve probably noticed some downright bizarre naming strategies over the years.
While these may all be fine programmes indeed, we trawled through years of back issues of photo magazines, websites and apps and found what we believe are 12 of the most bizarre names for photo editing software. Do you agree?
‘Non-destructive image editing for the rest of us,’ says the tag line. And while points must be awarded for the subtle Seinfeld ‘Festivus’ reference, we’re left baffled by the brand. Someone asks, ‘Have you tried ChocoFlop?’ Do you think photo-editing software, or do you think Soviet breakfast cereal?
Oh, GIMP. It’s hard for us to include you in this list. Many of us cut our photo-editing teeth on your toolbar as young, poor students, and your host of features puts many paid-for photo-editing software companies to shame. But… that name? Perhaps re-branding as the Photoshop-like Image Manipulation Program could help.
03. Intellihance Pro
Say ‘Intellihance’ three times. Kind of sounds like a backwoodsman defending Creation, doesn’t it? The irony is this great photo-editing software delivers a few simple image corrections very well, and offers excellent value for money for the photographer with a limited post-processing routine. We say this to help you make an intellihant decision.
04. Bibble Pro
Other Star Wars geeks out there might recall Bibble as the governor of Naboo and head advisor to Queen Amidala. You know the only thing worse than watching those Star Wars prequels? Naming your raw-editing software after an obscure, alien politician from those films. To be fair, they probably didn’t name their software after Gov. Bibble. But they stuck with the name.
The Noise Ninja software has been around a while, and it gets quite favourable reviews. But the emergence of terms like ‘ninja’, ‘rock star’ and ‘guru’ creeping into modern office lexicon leaves a foul taste.
This is a list feature about photo-editing software, and we know a thing or two about photo-editing software because we’ve used photo-editing software a lot. If you were to ask us for tips on bringing photo-editing software to market, we suggest that if you’re making photo-editing software it’s a good idea to give your photo-editing software a name that stands out from other photo-editing software and makes it clear to consumers that your product is photo-editing software. So what should you call it? How about Photo Pos Pro Photo Editor.
Did you buy the last 5DFly album? Of course you didn’t, because it’s not a boy band! Actually, it’s photo-editing software. But you could be forgiven for thinking so.
Hulk mad. Hulk… edit photos. ArtRage is actually a really fun, clever application for making photos into paintings and much more. But why so hostile? We get it, you like art. It’s OK!
Formerly Fauxto, the web-based photo editor reinvented itself as Splashup in 2007 as ‘the next step in (its) evolution.’ Sort of like Prince re-branding himself as a symbol, only instead of people still calling you Prince anyway they’re not sure what to call you because Splashup and Fauxto are both equally ‘different’.
If your ambitions are processing images to share online, or perhaps make modest-sized prints, then VCW VicMan’s Photo Editor is quite sufficient. If your ambitions are to create and bring to market a capable photo-editing software, perhaps you want a name that’s a little more catchy and a little less like a Full Metal Jacket character.
Hulk mad. Hulk… no, wait, we did that bit. But, the point remains. FotoFlexer? Photography is meant to be a peaceful endeavour. Where’s all this aggression coming from? Sit down, put your feet up, have a bowl of ChocoFlop and just relax!
piZap, with its crazy graphics and social-networking friendly effects, is clearly aimed at the kids. And what better way to relate to youth culture than by proving you’re a real hepcat and speaking on their level.
So, there you go – that’s our list of curiously named photo-editing software. If you think we’ve missed one, let us know in the comments below.